The current experience of loss may be as painful as it gets. Thinking about all of the events surrounding the loss, life without the loved one, next steps…it’s all so much. And if that isn’t bad enough, you get inundated with thoughts of other deaths, or other losses… leaving you raw and exhausted. Grief builds on past losses. They accumulate. ...[ read more ]
In grief, there are moments when the pain is so deep and intense words fall short. There is no way to articulate adequately the physical and mental anguish pulsing through your body and brain. You try and tell someone what you are going through but it is only a feeble representation of what the experience is like. It is frustrating…you...[ read more ]
One of the most common experiences I hear about when counseling grieving clients who have lost a loved one is the guilt they have over some aspect of the relationship with the deceased. Guilt over the last moments with the person, not “being there” for the person, having disagreements, not going somewhere with that person, choosing the “wrong” hospital or...[ read more ]
As individual as grief is, there are some common questions I hear often pertaining to behavior having to do with the grieving person. People have come to me questioning their crying, whether they should cry more or less, some feeling guilt over not crying at all. There is a question if it is OK to laugh or have enjoyable moments,...[ read more ]
Some of us go through the grief process and have this idea that we are going to be feeling better, different, or “back to normal” after a certain period of time. This timeline is conceived from different places. Family, friends, even the Diagnostic Manuel of Mental Disorders throw out timelines that really mess with us. “People say I should be...[ read more ]
It marks a year since we were told to shelter at home to help stop the spread of Covid-19. The world grieved losses big and small. We all felt the collective sadness for the major losses-lives lost, people not being able to be with family members in the hospital, not having permission to hold funerals. And others-the sadness in virtual...[ read more ]
5 Tips for Teens and Parents Receiving Letters of Non-Acceptance to College Every year about this time there is a portion of the population that is dealing with a loss. You wouldn’t know about it until it happens to you or someone you know well. It affects much of the senior high school population and their loved ones, and the...[ read more ]
In grief, we may become stressed due to repeated, recurrent thoughts that are related to our loss. We replay images of the person who died, or events that led up to the loss. We keep thinking “if we had only done X or if we would have done Y” maybe our loved one would not have died or left. Our...[ read more ]
Worrying about your future after a loved one has died or is no longer in your life is commonly experienced in grief. The tomorrow you had once planned together has now changed and it can be difficult to imagine a life without that person. There are so many small and not so small thoughts that come into your mind and...[ read more ]
The experience of constant thoughts of the loss continues as we grieve. These could be details of the loss itself, or memories of what life was like before the loss, or thoughts about actions we did or did not take that in our mind could have changed the outcome of the loss. Or it could be recurrent thoughts of an...[ read more ]
