When you lose somebody, or something, the thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations can be so overwhelming that you need time to figure out how to deal with it all. Cognitively, emotionally, physically, spiritually, there is so much to manage. Recurrent thoughts of the death event or some other significant memory plague your mind. You may just burst out crying, and have to do everything to hold back the floodgates. It’s hard to focus, your body aches, your energy drained. And on top of all of that, decisions need to be made, people are asking for direction on what actions to take. All you want is a minute for everything to just pause so that you can figure it out, deal with the feelings, the thoughts, the requests. Why does the world just keep going? Can’t everything just stop?

No. It feels harsh that everything keeps going. Confused and exhausted, you try to get through the day. It takes everything just to do daily tasks, much less answer the questions and solve the problems that loss brings. How does anyone make any decisions when it is so hard to think? And when your brain just hurts!

All you really want to do is go to sleep and escape it all.

How do you handle all the things?

Remember that not everything requires your answers immediately. You can take some time to investigate and prioritize tasks. People may offer to do things for you- take them up on the offer. Especially the routine things like grocery shopping and other household chores. No shame. No judgment. Take a minute to delegate one or two daily living tasks or actions. Or maybe things that require online searches, like airline flights or accommodations, event sites or flower arrangements. Those can be so time consuming and rough if your attention span is shot. You’d be surprised how taking just a little off your plate can bring a significant feeling of relief.

Finding a comfortable place to be and just feel the feelings can give you a time to release them. This can be super hard, especially if you were raised with the belief that expressing certain emotions were not appropriate. Setting aside time to let whatever feelings that arise helps the grieving process and allows you to express those human emotions that come with loss. It’s common to feel many different emotions all at once, even if they appear to be contradictory. Sad and happy. Relieved and worried. Angry and calm.

Getting outside or finding a place to be in nature can be very comforting. Sometimes just sitting and looking out of a window at trees, clouds, the sky. If inclined, you can take some time to really look at the colors and textures of the nature. This mindfulness exercise can also help you take a break from just thinking about the loss. Venture outside for a walk if feasible.

I’m a firm believer in water therapy. Showers, baths, hot tubs, dips in the pool, lake, ocean.

I wish the world could stop for you too. And I also know that it’s all right to be wishing that, day after day. I’m hoping that you can stop the world just for a moment and breathe. And know that for now, just one breath is good enough.

17821 E. 17th Street Unit #260
Tustin, CA 92780

(714) 941-2257

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