Many people feel uncomfortable when they are meeting new people for the first time. Fear of saying the wrong thing and not being liked, looking weird or dumb, fear of not “fitting in”. Some people just may notice it briefly and then begin conversations in a seemingly effortless way. It looks so natural and easy for them, and they look...[ read more ]
You may have learned that doing things, exposing yourself to feared stimuli, talking to THAT person, doing THAT thing, will help decrease your anxiety symptoms. But you feel like you just can’t do it…do the behaviors to help free you from the cycle. It’s just hard. Especially time and time again. What do I mean by exposures? Facing the fear....[ read more ]
My stomach is burning with nausea. Nothing sounds good to eat and my usual love, coffee, just aggravates the constant stomach pain. I’m tired and slow, given many days of sleep disruption, and feel like I’m going through the motions like a robot for most of my day. I don’t have a lot to contribute to conversations, since the effort...[ read more ]
The current experience of loss may be as painful as it gets. Thinking about all of the events surrounding the loss, life without the loved one, next steps…it’s all so much. And if that isn’t bad enough, you get inundated with thoughts of other deaths, or other losses… leaving you raw and exhausted. Grief builds on past losses. They accumulate. ...[ read more ]
In grief, there are moments when the pain is so deep and intense words fall short. There is no way to articulate adequately the physical and mental anguish pulsing through your body and brain. You try and tell someone what you are going through but it is only a feeble representation of what the experience is like. It is frustrating…you...[ read more ]
One of the most common experiences I hear about when counseling grieving clients who have lost a loved one is the guilt they have over some aspect of the relationship with the deceased. Guilt over the last moments with the person, not “being there” for the person, having disagreements, not going somewhere with that person, choosing the “wrong” hospital or...[ read more ]
This is a take-away concept from many anxiety specialists, and from professional and personal experience, it is a game-changer. The issue arises with believing the idea that all of our thoughts are real and truthful when, actually, they are not. It makes sense when you look at the brain and the way it has developed over time. As a human...[ read more ]
Those of us who run anxious can tell you point blank common bodily sensations experienced (rapid heartbeat, restlessness, difficulty sitting still), thoughts (worry, recurrent thoughts of doom, difficulty concentrating or focusing on a task) but may be hesitant to talk about the frequency of avoidance and/or checking behaviors that go along with the territory. What are avoidance and checking behaviors?...[ read more ]
As individual as grief is, there are some common questions I hear often pertaining to behavior having to do with the grieving person. People have come to me questioning their crying, whether they should cry more or less, some feeling guilt over not crying at all. There is a question if it is OK to laugh or have enjoyable moments,...[ read more ]
Some of us go through the grief process and have this idea that we are going to be feeling better, different, or “back to normal” after a certain period of time. This timeline is conceived from different places. Family, friends, even the Diagnostic Manuel of Mental Disorders throw out timelines that really mess with us. “People say I should be...[ read more ]
